Overcoming Loneliness In Marriage

There are times when you feel all alone, abandoned to your world even when you're sitting right next to your spouse. This often happens when we begin to pay too much attention to our negative feelings. That's when we pick on what he said or did that hurt our sensitive spot. Such times our senses come alive to his faults and weaknesses, we become too petty and judgemental and everything we exhume from feelings to emotions and attitude becomes very negative. We could unconsciously take it out on our innocent children when we allow these negativity overwhelm us. Your discussions as a couple at this point becomes very formal. Some even initiate communication via sms, chat, notes, etc.  

The truth is, it doesn't have to get to this level. We might occasionally give in to emotions as women, but we must always remember that giving in too much to emotions can cause us great problems. When next you notice this loneliness in your marriage, its time to swallow that bitter pill of pride and act on the following:  

1. Make the first move. Don't sit there wishing and hoping, he'll just touch or hold you from behind, play a prank or even initiate love making. Chances are he's also hoping you'll initiate the move. You can't continue wishing the other person makes the first move while the crack on the wall gets wider. The thought might be, "will I be ignored?" On the contrary, you might be surprised how he'll warm up to you because this has been his wish all along. But if you still sense a disconnect, give it some time but ensure its obvious you want to reconnect.  

2. Be ready to forgive. A perfect marriage isn't a union between two perfect individuals but between two imperfect people who are always willing to forgive. There's power in forgiveness that brings fresh grace upon you and your partner to work at your weakness and differences while drawing strength as you become better.  

3. Grow in understanding. There's never an end to what we learn about each other in marriage. We should always view a misunderstanding as an opportunity to understand the other person better and have a full grasp of his own point of view and style of reasoning. When you understand your spouse very well, you can easily pre-empt his thought on an issue and if his response will hurt you, its better you don't say it. Some conflicts in marriage can be avoided when we treat each other with respect based on our understanding of the other person's personality.  

4. Think and expect positivity. Focusing on negative thoughts creates negative atmosphere around your home. The blessings of peace and tranquillity eludes a negative marriage. When your spouse hurts your feelings, you could quickly remember what nice stuff he did the previous day and let that break the ice of hurt beginning to form in your heart. Often times its not just what was done but how we respond to the situation that matters.  

When next you feel lonely as a result of hurt feelings practice the above keys to help you connect back with your spouse and enjoy a peaceful and blissful union.