Release Those Toxins

Hurt will always happen as long as you live and relate with people. Some may hurt you intentionally while others may not even know they’ve offended you. The feeling of hurt can give rise to resentment, bitterness and the thought of revenge.

Forgiveness is letting go of this negative feelings and the thought of revenge which can be challenging when the pain is so real and traumatic. Reaching a decision not to forgive then becomes easy.

When people choose unforgiveness they do so because it does not allow people get away with their evil deed.

It also supports the inclination for vengeance. They want to see the offender hurt so they carry this silent wish that something tragic should behalf him.

Unforgiveness also gives a feeling of content that you always have something to hold over the other person’s head which can be pulled up and used against him at anytime.

These negative thoughts and feelings become seeds unconsciously sown that will eventually spring forth in our lives and relationships causing harm never envisaged. How often we trade our happiness for sorrow, our beauty for bitterness and our joy for resentment and then blame it on people’s offences. When our future is consumed in the bitterness of our past, life becomes uninspiring. Offences will happen but how much of our lives and relationships is affected by it is determined by the choices we make.

It is painful to be hurt but harbouring bitterness, grudge and a desire to hurt the other person is more traumatic. It’s a toxin in the system that needs to be flushed out before it destroys the spirit, soul and body.

Effect of Unforgiveness on:

The Spirit

Being overwhelmed with so much negative thoughts as a result of resentment alienates you from God and hinders you from receiving healing. Your supply of joy and peace is also affected.

The Soul (Mind)

Unforgiveness erodes you of the strength for positive living and keeps you stagnated. You experience a draw back each time you try to move on. This explains why some can’t thrive in new relationships when they’re bound by resentment towards an ex-lover. For some it’s bitterness towards an abusive spouse, an unloving parent, a wicked boss or to self in some severe cases.

The Body

Doctors have been able to prove that unforgiveness causes alteration in the pattern of chemicals and electricity in the body. It also disrupts the harmony of the brain waves making one less able to think clearly and make good decisions. It affects the emotional and mental well-being of an individual leading to stress and other physical illnesses.

Forgiveness is not a feeling, that’s why you never feel like letting go of the hurt, it’s first a decision and then a process. When you are hurt, you can choose to heal and move on or you can allow the hurt impact your life and determine how you live and relate with people.

The Process of Forgiveness

● Acknowledge the existence of the pain, don’t deny the fact that you’re hurt.

● Deal with the offence. Ask questions like what happened, how did the incidence affect me, what could have been responsible for my reaction?

● Examine the impact of bitterness on your life and relationships? Has it made you better or worse by corrupting your heart?

● Write a letter to the offender, you might never send it. The whole essence is to let it all out.

● Speak to someone about your pain, someone who can help you through the healing process not someone who will encourage you to remain resentful.

● Make that important choice to let go of the negative feelings and forgive.

● Pray. Confess your weakness to God and seek His forgiveness. Experiencing God’s forgiveness through the touch of His grace releases you from your hurt to forgive others too. The effect of grace working in us and through us to do that which is humanly impossible can only be made possible by a divine power.

● Pray for the person and deliberately be nice to assure there’s no longer feeling of hurt.

Anger, bitterness, malice and resentment are all toxins that should not be allowed in your life if you must be productive and enjoy lasting relationships.- Florence Ogunbowale