Friday, 31 July 2015

#TheSuitableHelp Episode 26: Answers To Your Questions

1. Hello tweeps Its episode 26 of #TheSuitableHelp Wisdom 4 Wives. How has the week been for you.  

2. Its been very busy for me even though I'm suppose to be on break lols. #TheSuitableHelp  

3. #TheSuitableHelp is aimed at providing wisdom, support and encouragement for wives and single ladies to fulfil God's call on their lives.  

4. You can get past episodes here: http://flourishingwoman.blogspot.com  #TheSuitableHelp  

5. Today on the episode, I will be treating questions by the grace and wisdom from above. #TheSuitableHelp

6. What is that question/issue disturbing you as a wife or a single lady, you can tweet those questions at me now. #TheSuitableHelp  

7. Straight into the business of the day, the first question I'm going to be answering is #TheSuitableHelp  

Why am I not married? I keep thinking something is wrong with me, can this be true? #TheSuitableHelp  

God has answers to every of our question but sometimes for reasons best known to Him He chooses not to answer. #TheSuitableHelp   But when we know God's character as being true and infallible, we can be strengthened by this understanding. #TheSuitableHelp  

So that even when we don't get answers, we know He's working all things together for our good. #TheSuitableHelp   There are certain questions in life we may not get answers to till we get to heaven. #TheSuitableHelp  

As to whether s'thing is wrong wIth you, our expectations s'times brings us under pressure n we begin to believe what is false. #TheSuitableHelp  

Like, I'm not good enough, I'm not talented, I don't have what is takes to charm a guy, etc. #TheSuitableHelp  

is happens when your mind does a comparison between the perfect charming lady n ur self image which ends in self rejection. #TheSuitableHelp  

Do not allow your not being married eat into your self esteem and your core beliefs about your self image. #TheSuitableHelp  

If at all there are issues (attitude, emotion, psychological) that may have been an hindrance, #TheSuitableHelp  

Ask God to x-ray your life and address any issue, while you also will be open to the work of His Spirit in your life. #TheSuitableHelp   I

If people have constantly complained about your attitude, see a therapist or a coach to help you go through programs.... #TheSuitableHel  

That would enable you master your emotions and overcome baggages in your life #TheSuitableHelp  

A great marriage is not stumbled upon, it takes hard work from both parties. #TheSuitableHelp   But as a wife who desires to love and understand her spouse better you can achieve that through initiated communication. #TheSuitableHelp  

This would involve getting him to talk thru questions, taking a cue from my spouse who would never tell u what he expects. #TheSuitableHelp  

And I want to believe most men are like that, you can get to know his expectations through deliberate questioning. #TheSuitableHelp  

This should be done when he's in his best mood and you also should have an open mind and try not to be defensive. #TheSuitableHelp  

Examples of questions to ask include: what's one thing I can do to take a burden off you? How's our sex life? #TheSuitableHelp  

What's your biggest goal, how can I help you achieve it? Do I give you enough space to be you? #TheSuitableHelp  

What can I do to make u feel more appreciated and respected? What are ur expectations we've not discussed. #TheSuitableHelp  

When you're open to his response, you're ready to take your relationship to the next level. #TheSuitableHelp  

Our 3rd qn is how do I know I'm dating an insecure guy? Either the man or the woman in a relationship can feel insecured. #TheSuitableHelp  

For the purpose of this tweet meet, I'll address insecurity in men. Insecurity in either sexes is an emotional problem. #TheSuitableHelp  

Whatever d root cause of ur insecurity, it can be dealt with, for time, I can't go into that but u can contact me for help. #TheSuitableHelp  

We all have an amount of insecurity in us but when it begins to put a strain on our relationship, then there's danger. #TheSuitableHelp  

Insecured guys start out as very appreciative of you but later turns it into overbearing possessiveness n obsession. #TheSuitableHelp  

What are the signs to look out for? A. When its taking all your energy to reassure him of your love and commitment. #TheSuitableHelp  

B. When he's jealous of every one he finds around you especially male friends and colleagues. #TheSuitableHelp  

C. When his pampering and adoration of you becomes overbearing.

D. When he stalks you on social media. #TheSuitableHelp    

I. When he indirectly places d resp of d success of d relationship on u by constantly talk'g abt how his ex cheated on him. #TheSuitableHelp  

J. He occasionally thinks and accuses you of still being in love with your ex. #TheSuitableHelp   Do you feel stuck in a relationship that only drains you and need help to get out, you can contact me. #TheSuitableHelp  

The last question for the night would be how do I deal with my spouse's addiction to pornography? #TheSuitableHelp  

Pornography has become a monster partners battle to keep their marriage. #TheSuitableHelp  

The first response is always that of devastation, betrayal, hurt and resentment. #TheSuitableHelp  

As much as this is understandable, you need to control it so that it doesn't escalate the problem on ground. #TheSuitableHelp  

Be honest about your hurt but try not to lash out and condemn. #TheSuitableHelp  

Remember he's already guilty but might not show it because of his ego. Your judgements might even make him justify it. #TheSuitableHelp  

Itsa battle to be faced by both of you especially when he's open to accept his error. #TheSuitableHelp  

His healing will require the help of a specialist (Counselor or Therapist) and your support. #TheSuitableHelp  

As you work on helping him, also work on your hurt feelings and resentment. #TheSuitableHelp   Your spouse sure needs your love more than ever at this moment. #TheSuitableHelp  

Its also a time to reassess your commitment to the relationship especially to his needs. #TheSuitableHelp  

Though a man's choice of pornography should not be blamed on the woman because he has power of his choices but, #TheSuitableHelp  


The truth is a woman's inability to satisfy her husband sexual needs can make him vulnerable to temptations. #TheSuitableHelp   I

I'm not saying that's the only cause, pornography is also a result of underlying insecurity prob, emotional & past issues etc. #TheSuitableHelp  

Whatever is the route cause, there's help for every addiction to pornography either by a man or a woman. #TheSuitableHelp  

that's all I can take on ds episode of #TheSuitableHelp, you can still reach me if you have questions and issues. Contact is on my profile.Thanks for your time, God bless and uphold your relationships. #TheSuitableHelp

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