Married To Reality

There is something good about starting off right with the right foundation especially in an aspect of life so sensitive as marriage.  

Life is about principles and keeping to them guarantees you next to 100 percent result; but since life itself is unpredictable, surprises aren't inevitable.  

A good foundation before wedding is good enough to help you discover each other and also build your marriage on but requires more than just the foundation to sustain the life of the marriage itself.  

Sustaining a healthy marriage requires a lot of work starting with overcoming disillusionment. Courtship in most cases isn't a determining factor on how the marriage itself will go. The goal in courtship is to please each other so its filled with joy, laughter, fun and the ability to tolerate and accommodate each other's weaknesses.  

Right after wedding a lot of realities sets in, attitude, financial matters, arrival of kids, in-laws, demand on time, personality differences which all create problems in the marriage.  

Can courtship then be said to be deceptive, what inspires our expectations in marriage, do we bother to seek God's mind concerning our marriage to know what His plans and expectations are for us?  

When you begin to notice changes in your spouse, what comes to mind is the fear of not wanting to realise you got the wrong guy or that he's changed from the person you knew. Before running into conclusion, I think you also need to ask yourself in what ways do you appear to have changed before your spouse. This is always the obvious, both of you have equally changed because while courting, you put forward your best sides so as to win each others love but this isn't the case when you eventually secure the one you've worked so hard to win.  

How Do You Deal With This Reality?  

• Try not to get on the dead end road of wanting to fix him but instead work at understanding him.  

• Communicate more, talk about your concerns but don't condemn or criticise.  

• Have listening ears as well. Always be ready to listen to and understand your spouse's concerns, he also has feelings.  

• Remember to always return to The Father and seek to know His mind for you as a help meet.  

• Encourage the best out of him for your own bliss.  

• Work on yourself to become the right person suitable as a help meet for your spouse.  

• Be committed to a lifetime goal of helping each other fulfil purpose in life.  

• Learn to find contentment and happiness as an individual and not in your spouse.  

• Engage in activities that make you better by the day and help you find fulfilment as a woman.  

• Always bear in mind that you've entered a place of a lifetime learning. Learning increases you and makes you better. How well you make your marriage the haven you dreamt of in courtship will depend on your attitude to learning and growth.  

Marriage may not be a bed of roses but you can determine not to nurture the thorns to life in your relationship and through your attitude create an atmosphere that guarantees a blissful union. Who you become through these processes will help you keep to the vow of loving for better or worse till death do you path..

What realities have you been confronted with after wedding, how have you been dealing with it? Drop your comments would like to hear from you.