#TheSuitableHelp Episode 8: When Your Help Becomes Unhelpful

1. Hello tweeps and welcome to episode 8 of #TheSuitableHelp Wisdom 4 Wives.

2. #TheSuitableHelp is aimed at providing wisdom, support and encouragement for wives.

3. You can get the last episode here If you missed it. http://goo.gl/bV7OJ0 #TheSuitableHelp

4. We're looking at "When Your Help Becomes Unhelpful" in today's episode. #TheSuitableHelp

5. As a precious gift to your husband, God's design is that you fill a need in his life. #TheSuitableHelp

6. Being a wife is a beautiful thing you need to be excited about. #TheSuitableHelp

7. God calls us help meet which require us helping our husbands become complete in God. #TheSuitableHelpWe

8. But we need to be careful in handling this role as helper so the purpose isn't defeated. #TheSuitableHelp

9. The purpose which is to help our husbands become better and not worse. #TheSuitableHelp

10. Today's topic tells us that there are certain things we do to help but end up with negative results. #TheSuitableHelp

11. What are those things we do that are not helpful to our spouses? #TheSuitableHelp

12. A. Your overly concern attitude when things aren't working for him as expected.#TheSuitableHelp

13. Women by nature have a way of showing concern that can sometimes become over bearing. #TheSuitableHelp

14. This concern can send the wrong message of fear, doubt in his ability and the thought of him as a failure. #TheSuitableHelp

15. The best way to help in situations like this is to encourage him and not create unnecessary tension. #TheSuitableHelp

16. B. When you become "Miss Fix It".
Your ability to solve problem should not turn you into your husband's god. #TheSuitableHelp

17. Sometimes you probe deep into his mind trying to figure out what's going on there so you could offer solution. #TheSuitableHelp

18. Wives often make the mistake of offering unsolicited help when all he needs is some space to think. #TheSuitableHelp

19. Don't make him look irresponsibly by trying to fix every problem in his life including issues at his work. #TheSuitableHelp

20. C. Making excuses for his inability to make some accomplishment on a project. #TheSuitableHelp

21. As his helper, you could help analyse the situation to find out what can be done better next time. #TheSuitableHelp

22. Making excuses for your man creates in him a victim mindset where he feels helpless about every situation. #TheSuitableHelp

23. When you put him in this situation, he depends on you to get things done which will eventually wear you out. #TheSuitableHelp

24. Help him identify his strength and abilities. He has what it takes to function as a man without you. #TheSuitableHelp

25. D. When you become his thinking cap. You're the one to think his next move on a task. #TheSuitableHelp

26. You help figure out his response to issues, you also help him think how best he can run the home. #TheSuitableHelp

27. He needs to be in charge as the man. Don't put him in a situation where he can no longer think for himself. #TheSuitableHelp

28. You can assist with available options but leave him to make his decisions and take responsibility for their outcome. #TheSuitableHelp

29. E. When you become his conscience. Sometimes trying to encourage your spouse to

30. a higher spiritual walk with God can become manipulative. (2) #TheSuitableHelp

31. You tend to control his activities, business and relationship with your deep spiritual discernment. #TheSuitableHelp

32. You might unknown to you take on the role of the Holy Spirit to remind him of his wrongs and need for repentance. #TheSuitableHelp

33. There's nothing wrong in being spiritually sensitive as a wife, you only need to be sure that (1/2) #TheSuitableHelp

34. your foremost drive isn't just your deep spirituality but Holy Spirit. #TheSuitableHelp

35. No man becomes better by his wife's criticisms even when they're justifiable. #TheSuitableHelp

36. But more can be achieved by praying and living out the life you're preaching. #TheSuitableHelp

37. Sometimes an innocent offer of help can produce results that negatively impact on our spouse and ulttimately on our marriage. #TheSuitableHelp

38. Let the wisdom of God guide you in fulfilling your role as the help suitable for your spouse. #TheSuitableHelp

39. Thanks for joining me today. Send me your questions and concerns, I'll be willing to help. #TheSuitableHelp